Announcements!
This is from a crumbled church bulletin I found in Caleb's sock drawer. Boy are those Love Chapeler's weirdorama! Not sure why Caleb saved it but it's worth a look see. I suppose he will be teaching on the evils of false religion using some of this.
Announcements for Endsville's
First Mission of Holiness Chapel of Love
For the week of January 14, 2001
* Bertha Belch, a missionary
from Africa will be speaking
tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and
hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
* Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER &
FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and
Prayer conference includes meals."
* Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM
in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."
* Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the
Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are
welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
* The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a conflict.
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The
sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need
all the help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for
more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and
requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the
choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to
someone who
doesn't care much about you.
* Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24
in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their
school
days.
* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
hall. Music will follow.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir
practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of several new members and to the deterioration of
some older ones.
* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to
be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a
nominal feel.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
have a nursery downstairs.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person(s) you want remembered.
* Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a
healthy lunch.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to
follow.
* The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the
pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
* Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for
testes.
* The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up
Yours."