Our Children's Library


Post-Quellish (Let It Come!) we will have the need for many things to occupy the coming flock of off-spring. This is a list of approved children's reading materials that have been packed and placed around the Ark for Doug Doug and our children.

The Unabomber Pop-up Manifesto and Coloring Book

The Little Engine That Could, If Only That Damned Gout Would Go Away

Girls Are From Venus, Boys Are From Cootieland

The Little Big Book of Necrophelia

The J. Edgar Hoover Dress-Up Book

Joe Camel and The Magic Cancer Stick

The Crack House at Pooh Corner

The Dummy's Guide to Crying

Barney's Bleeding and Nobody Can Help

Where in the New York Area is Jimmy Hoffa

Furious George Delivers the Mail

Beauty and The Beast - A Study of the Stockholm Syndrome

Snow White - Princess or Slave in Midget Group Homosexual Living?

Jack and the Beanstalk - The Dangers of Drug Abuse

The Three Little Pigs - Moronism and Paranoia's Role in a Community

Cinderella - Exchanging One Cruel Master for Another

Sleeping Beauty - The Heartbreak of Narcolepsy

The Little Mermaid - Interspecies Dating and Why it Never Works

Goldilocks and the Three Bears - Why Weird Dietary Beliefs Can Harm You

The Pied Piper - How Loud Noises Can Hypnotize Weak Minds


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