Religious Lightbulbs

How many ____________ does it take to change a light bulb?

 a) Charismatics - Only one: Hands are already in the air.

 b) Roman Catholics - none. They use candles.

 c) Pentecostals - Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of

 d) Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on
 and off.

 e) Episcopalians - Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how
much they liked the old one better.

 f) Mormons - Ten. One man to change the bulb, and nine wives to tell  him  how to do it.

 g) Baptists - Change?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 h) United Methodists - We choose not to make a statement either in favor
 of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey,
 you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
 are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

j) Divine Order of Faithful Servants - just one, our doer Kenneth Thith

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