Religious Lightbulbs
How many ____________ does it
take to change a light bulb?
a) Charismatics - Only one: Hands are already in the air.
b) Roman Catholics - none. They use candles.
c) Pentecostals - Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of
darkness.
d) Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on
and off.
e) Episcopalians - Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how
much they liked the old one better.
f) Mormons - Ten. One man to change the bulb, and nine wives to tell
him how to do it.
g) Baptists - Change?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
h) United Methodists - We choose not to make a statement either in favor
of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey,
you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal
relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light
bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of
which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
j) Divine Order of Faithful
Servants - just one, our doer Kenneth Thith