The Honorable 

Reverend Caleb Solars

 New Years Message

Caleb prepares to "par-tay down" for the New Year

MAY I  BE THE FIRST TO WISH YOU
In the year which is about to begin:

 

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastroenterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your fertility doctor, your sex therapist, your plumber and the I.R.S.

 May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your libido and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides and your cholesterol not rise.

 May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere in rush hour in  less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a parking space for your mini-bus.

May you have good friends, including a woman that cooks, cleans and prays, another woman that beautifies the place, a child-like one that amuses you, an an architect that builds mighty vessels, a sacred interperator, the most dependable and energetic righthand man and dandy masseuse and an accountant who keeps you out of jail.

 May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your followers, Liza Swayzak and all sacred brothers and sisters but not to your sworn enemies, sluts in red or Prince Victor Diamond .
 

May we discover civilized life on Mars, but more important  yet,  may we discover
 civilized life on Earth at least for a while before El Agua.

 But most important of all, may you be aware of God's love in every sunset,
every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every human act of kindness, every drop of rain and   
astonishing, miraculous beat of your heart.
   

Peace.

The Reverend