Meet Our Initial Apostles of Faith
Our Good Reverend, Caleb Solar
What can you say about a man that God communicates with? That he is blessed? That he is special? Yes and he just happens to be our own leader! Caleb experienced a great Confluence of Horrors (WHUP!) one day and that just happened to have been the day that God spoke directly to Caleb and outlined his plan for ridding the earth of evil-doers via Quellish (Let It Come!) Some say Caleb looks like Kevin Costner or Kyle Secor but I think he looks just like a lunatic skydiver fellow I know.
To Read Caleb's Sacred Quotations, Click here!To find out Caleb's thoughts on video games, click here...or to read his Sermon Notes click here!
Kenneth Thith - The Good Reverends Right Hand (and Left Hand) Man
Kenneth is the Can-Do guy around here, from shaving Doug Doug to ironing Caleb's shirts to renovating our Compound, there is no task that Kenneth cannot handle (except for telling Caleb his true feelings for him!). Kenneth has seen the sacredness of The Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar since Caleb was a young boy and is his most fervent supporter. And he's a snappy dresser too!
To See Kenneth Thith's Shaving and Ironing Tips, Click here!
Doug Doug - A Child's Heart
It says in the Bible that only if you are like a little child will you enter heaven so we are betting that Doug will have a prominent place with God! Doug has the entire Bible memorized so all those years with Manson, Koresh and Applewhite really payed off, he is a veritable walking Bible and Doug loves his pudding!
Try the Puddings with Doug Doug, Click here!
Elizabeth Wilberforce - Our Den Mother
Only by the daily sacrifices of Elizabeth does the entire DOoFS compound run smoothly. She cooks and submits herself for the greater good of our sacred assemblage. There is a golden crown of honor awaiting this saintly woman in the New World, too bad she is too old to help repopulate the earth post-Quellish (Let It Come!) Love her Laura Ashley dresses!
To Read About Elizabeth's Culinary Creations, Click here! To see her deepest secrets, click here!
Isaac Melnick - Nice Jewish Boy
No one had better mess with us as long as we have Isaac protecting us! He opens cans of Whoop-Ass better than Captain Insano. Isaac is a fantastic basketball player too, in fact that is how he met the Most Honorable Caleb Solar, playing basketball, the Holy Sport! Isaac is also responsible for bringing us together with Ivy Vaughn. Ivy's film of us will the our greatest recruitment drive yet and serve as our Bible in future times. God really does work in mysterious ways.
Learn About Isaac's Time In The Army, Click here!Or to find out the real skinny click here!
Nicola McCoy - Our Worship Leader
Sweet Nicola is not merely just physically beautiful but she has a real inner beauty and one of the purtiest singing voices you have ever heard. Nicola serves our group by leading us in the worship of God via singing the "Arky Ark" song. Her interests include watching "Dawson's Creek" and listening to the Back Street Boys, too bad everyone in Dawson's Creek and the Back Street Boys is about to die a gory, painful and violent death soon when El Agua shows up!
Click here to see Nicola's Beauty and Band Tips!
Neville Asquith - Prophesier of Our Times
This member is from Jolly Old England and he brought the biggest sum of money to add to our funds, you cannot spread the word of God without the proper funding and we can thank Neville for helping out greatly. Neville has also been blessed of the Lord with the divine ability to see the Word of God in the nightly weather forecasts of Lisa Swayzak, especially when he is under the influence of juniper berry essence.
See Neville in action as he figures out God's words from Lisa's forecast, click here! Listen to Neville consume too much juniper essence, click here! Or for a Neville you could never imagine, click here!
Shawn Walker - Ark Designer Extraordinare!
Shawn is the man planning, designing and building the Ark in our backyard. How else would we survive the fury of El Agua and Quellish (Let It Come!) if not for the know-how and hands-on ability of Shawn. The only problem Shawn is having is with figuring out exactly what a "Cubit" is and where in the world to get that Gopherwood at because the Gophers just aren't telling.
Click here to see Shawn's Ark Building Tips!
Terry Festinger - The Moneyman
Divest yourself for the good of the many and Terry is the man you would be handing over your life savings to. The rumor around town is that Terry has served some time or something like that for shady dealings but if Caleb trusts him that's good enough for me! Caleb and Terry met online one night, just ask Terry about it sometime, interesting story.
Click here to see Terry and his favorite websites!